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The Adventures of Me and My Pioneer Rabbit

…sitting on the dock of the bay.

My pioneer rabbit guards our catch of cod while I take a swim.

…testing some theories.

My pioneer rabbit flies a kite with a key while I watch from a safe distance.

…making a million dollar getaway.

My pioneer rabbit parachutes out of my plane with our loot.

…practicing our Houdini moves.

My pioneer rabbit and I in a barrel, barreling toward the threshold of Niagara falls.

…on the lam from the chain gang.

My pioneer rabbit and I furiously working a hand car.

…on wild safari.

My pioneer rabbit and I sit stealthily behind some foliage while on safari.

…watching some white noise.

My pioneer rabbit and I watching the boob tube on a mustard yellow couch.

…stretching the limitations of water skis.

My pioneer rabbit was not on board with testing out some water skis.

…on a dusty trail to nowhere.

My pioneer rabbit and I decide that camels are onto something. "Stay here, trusty rabbit, I'm going to get help."

...searching for sunken treasure.

After traversing the bone dry plains of the desert, me and my rabbit took plotted our next adventure in more hydrated climes. Our crew assembled and gear prepared, we were in search of hidden treasure, but even I was surprised by my rabbit's underwater prowess.

...gathering moon rocks.

When the space program ran out of Russian dogs to send into orbit, they called upon my pioneer rabbit to explore the reaches of deep space. We knew his twitchy nose and nimble hop would be put to the test when our mission to gather moon rocks was revealed, but it was an opportunity we couldn't pass up..

...marauding on the high seas.

Ever since we'd taken the helm from the last Dread Pirate Rabbit, my pioneer bunny and I had been living large. Swashbuckling, saving princesses, shouting "Shiver me timbers!" from the fore mast. Ahh, life on the high seas.

...surviving last minute holiday shopping.

Due to a run in with some flocked moose, my pioneer rabbit and I were a bit lat on the game for Christmas present buying. As you can see, we barely made it out of the shopping melee alive.

...ringing in the New Year.

We hadn't planned on doing anything big for New Year's, but my rabbit wanted to go out. As the evening progressed, however, it was clear that my rabbit's plans had take a turn for the worse. Some would say he was drowning his sorrows in drink...in reality he was just drowning.

...completing feats of tightrope drama.

With such a high propensity for thrill-seeking adventure, it wasn't long before my rabbit had concocted a plan to rival our Houdini "barrel in a rushing river" triumph. This time, he planned to traverse the buildings of New York via tightrope. The police had alternative thoughts about this dream.

...watching the northern lights.

After all that we had been through, I thought it was be nice to plan a nice relaxing get-a-way for my rabbit and I. What better than the northern and most remote state of the US, where we could cuddle in an igloo and drink cocoa. We even got to see the northern lights, a sign to behold!

...pulling off a heist.

After watching Wallace & Gromit: The Wrong Trousers, my rabbit got a feather up his butt and decided to go roque. Yes, he wanted to heist some local jewels, and darned if he didn't have a plan. If somebody ever tells you a rabbit can't rappel upside down through laser beams of museum security...well, I will vouch that they can.

...at the county fair.

After touring the livestock showings and the rodeo, my rabbit and I decided it was time for more lighthearted competition - the County Fair carnival games! Somehow my rabbit got roped into the sharp shooter game, but not in the way he would have liked. As burley rednecks lined up for a shot, we feared this county fair might be his last.

...thumbing a ride on Highway 97.

Our adventures have taken us to faraway lands and delicate situations, so my rabbit and I thought we should relax with an old-fashioned road trip. Instead of the class route 66, we chose to burn rubber on Oregon's highway 97. Unfortunately, our adventuring skills didn't make up for missing the sign that read "No Gas for 345 miles". Yep, our roadtrip was now reliant on our thumbs, of which my rabbit had none.

...going to the derby car races.

After entering the derby, it was quickly decided that my rabbit would be the driver. After all, the pinewood derby car was bit small for me. So we set about making the fastest racing machine we could, and no expense was spared: custom rims, jaunty racing scarf, glossy enamel paint job...

...at the seashore.

My pioneer rabbit was finally exacting revenge on the previous ills I had committed toward him. An idyllic trip to the seashore quickly turned sinister after I realized that burying me in the sand wasn't such an innocent activity. As the waves lapped closer, my pleas didn't seem to faze him. My rabbit had a heart of stone.

...combating wind power.

Leave it to my pioneer rabbit to accidentally reenact Don Quixote during our scenic tour of Holland's historic windmills. While I didn't find it very amusing, the tour bus we were traveling with sure got their money's worth.

...traveling with passports.

Even though he was planning on being stowed in the overhead bin and required nothing more than a small cupful of water and some pre-packaged carrots, my rabbit had to get his own passport. Boy, did the government lady look at us strangely when I told her to put down Briar Patch as country of origin.

...catching marshmallows on fire.

Me and my pioneer rabbit like a good getaway to the quiet of the woods. I warned my small friend that his marshmallow whittling skills seemed to be overly optimistic. Suddenly, the peaceful crackling of the campfire was amplified by a million little rabbit ear hairs.

...getting official photographs taken.

Grandma Rabbit had asked for new family portraits, so me and my pioneer rabbit were off to the photographers for some official portraits. Between the nose-twitching, ear-flopping and multiple-book chair-height adjustments, I didn't think we would ever get the right shot!

...hot air ballooning.

My pioneer rabbit and I thought that a nice romantic hot air balloon trip would put some of our past harrowing adventures behind us. But as these things go, the idyllic countryside wasn't so enjoyable when viewed from the taut vantage of an errant tether.

...rodeo style.

Traveling abroad for adventure is fun and all, but a trip to the Wild West is something you can only do in the good ol' US of A. The rodeo was calling and my rabbit answered by entering into the bronc riding contest. You should have seen the look on that rodeo clown's face when he saw my Leporidae flying through the air at him.

...at the head doctor.

After our last adventure my rabbit and I were in need of some recuperation, specifically in the mental arena. The head doctor's office was seven different shades of beige, the water a perfect 72 degrees, and the fainting couch oh-so-comfortable. After an hour of whisker twitching, we were ready to go again.

...on just another rainy day.

It's no secret that the Pacific Northwest breeds a special sort of winter gloom. The rain comes in many forms and fashions including big drops, small drops, wetter than usual drops, sideways drops, stinging drops, and drench-fest drops. The weather could be summed up as "bleh". Until you lose your umbrella, and then the weather is "BLERG!".

...traversing the fish ladder.

My rabbit had underwater experience from our trials at finding sunken treasure, but climbing a fish ladder turned out to be a whole other story. Fish of all sizes and dispositions swimming upstream while being counted and measured by professional and unprofessional humans alike. At least there were no bears waiting for dinner at the top of the ladder...

…off to find our next adventure.

My pioneer rabbit and I looking for adventure.
  1. Jen commented on September 22, 2010 at 11:17 am…

    dear mette,
    this would make a nice book for children who like rabbits who like adventures. and that’s most children, I think.
    also, you never told me you are a chain gang fugitive. how exciting! i did not know about your affinity for kites either. i learned a great deal from this post.

  2. bunny commented on October 8, 2010 at 8:19 pm…

    I lol’d, very cute.